


Greeeeen, baby!

by TinyThoughts



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Based on a True Story, Best Friends, Fluff, Funny, Getting pinned down, Kissing, M/M, Modern AU, Short, This is so fucking dumb, Wrestling, and this is GREEN baby, at least yen has fun, but his hair got purple, but wrestling is a lil generous description, dumb, hair coloring accidents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyThoughts/pseuds/TinyThoughts
Summary: Geralt just wanted to dye his hair. Jaskier just wants a picture.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	Greeeeen, baby!

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the modern AU no one asked for!! All I wanted was to make Geralt’s hair green. And to the surprise of exactly on one, it ran away from me… 😂😂

”Uhm. What colour Did you want from this?”

”Black? It says black on the bottle right?”

”Uh… are you sure you want it black?”

”Just do it.”

~

Geralt’s hair turns green.

For some weird, unexplainable reason, Geralt’s hair turns green.

Jaskier can’t breathe. There is not enough air making it’s way down his lungs. He wheezes and he laughs uncontrollably, his sides hurt and he bangs his fist at the floor.

“You look ridiculous!!!” Jaskier manage to wheeze out.

Geralt sits on the couch, arms crossed over his chest, a big glare and ye ol’ pout going on. His hair is wrapped up in a white towel, dark green stains where his hair is soaking through.

“Fuck. You.”

“Oh don’t you blame this on me! I asked you, I specifically asked you if you were sure it would become black, and you told me yes. So don’t you point blame on me, you grouch!”

“Fuck. You.” Geralt repeats, but he knows Jaskier is right. Still doesn’t make him happy.

“You know what? I’m telling Yen.”

“The FUCK you are!”

“The fuck I am!” Jaskier says cheerfully, rolling over from his stomach to his back, picking up his phone to text her. She lives just two doors down, she deserves to see this masterpiece.

“You are NOT telling Yen!” Geralt shoves up from the couch and launches himself at Jaskier, grasping for his phone.

“You brute! This is an attempt at my _life_! You scoundrel!”

Jaskier flails and kicks and pushes at Geralt and tries to keep his phone out of his reach.

But Geralt is big. And strong. And heavy.

And actually knows a thing or two about wrestling.

So Jaskier has to play dirty. He grabs the towel that holds Geralt’s hair and shoves it down to cover his eyes.   
Geralt actually, honest to anything, growls.

It would have been intimidating if Jaskier didn’t see his green hair falling out.   
Oh fuck that looks so funny.

Jaskier starts laughing again, and uses his knees to push up Geralt’s shoulders. Hands free he tries to take a picture of this absolutely ridiculous man.

It’s a struggle, but Geralt is busy getting the towel and green hair ( _green hair!!!_ ) out of his eyes.

Jaskier has time to open the camera but then Geralt has freed himself of the offending fabric and elbows Jaskiers knee away.   
He falls down on him with a heavy thud and for a moment Jaskier can’t catch his breath.

“Fuck you’re heavy!” He gasps, wriggling under him, his arms are locked under Geralt but he wriggles one free. “Just one pic! It’s all I ask!”

“No!”

Geralt throws the towel away and tries to grab the phone again, using the one knee still pushing at Geralt’s shoulder to keep it safe.

“What kind of best friend would I be if I did not immortalize this?!” Jaskier argues. Just one picture is enough.

Geralt has had enough.

He shoves Jaskiers other knee down, rising up a little so he can catch Jaskiers arms and pin them above his head.   
Game, set, match.

They breathe heavily from their tussle, Jaskier holding on to the phone for dear life.

“Aaw, come one. Please? Just one picture?” Jaskier whines, pleads really. A very wet strand of hair slides down Geralt’s scalp and with a splat falls down on Jaskiers face.   
Oh, they are kinda close, aren’t they?

And Geralt isn’t releasing him. Suddenly Jaskier is all nerves and fluttery feelings and red cheeks and damnit.   
But also, this dude, this insanely attractive friend of his that he’s been crushing on for so long and has him pinned down, this dude now has green hair.   
That helps actually.

Jaskier snorts another laugh.

”Green is not your colour, handsome.”

”Shuddup.”

“Should we color your eyebrows too? So that they match?”

”Shuddup!”

Geralt suddenly gets aware of himself.   
How he has Jaskiers arms pressed down, his legs. Jaskier smiles up at him, eyes glinting with humor and a soft blush coloring his cheekbones.

Geralt can’t help it, but Jaskier is licking his lips, just a quick dart with his tongue, and Geralt has to look.   
Involuntarily his grip tightens around Jaskiers arms.   
Fuck.

“Geralt?”

Jaskiers smile falls, his face smoothes out and fuck it all.

Jaskier pulls his arms free, and Geralt doesn’t fight it. The phone drops to the floor, and neither of them go for it.

Slowly, tauntingly so, Jaskiers hands are placed on Geralt’s shoulders. And slides up into that green, wet mess that now is his hair.

He can’t move.

Jaskier studies his face and Geralt can barely breath and his heart is racing and he doesn’t know what to do.   
Warm hands in his damp hair, on the back of his head, softly pushing him closer.

Jaskiers eyes are dancing over his face, he parts his lips and leans upwards.

Fuck it all. Geralt goes for it.

He follows Jaskiers hands willingly and suddenly they are kissing.

It’s weird. Absolutely not how he thought this night would go.

But Jaskier makes a breathy little sound when they part and there is no way he can’t dive in again, lick that bottom lip.

Jaskier pushes his body upwards, arching his back so that their chests press together and that is a brilliant idea.

Geralt’s right hand finds Jaskiers cheek and he cups it and let his thumb feel the soft warm skin there.

When they finally part Geralt let his head fall into the crook of Jaskiers neck.

“ _Fuck me_ that’s cold!” Jaskier yelps when wet cold hair is pressed against him.

Geralt responds with simply pushing his head closer, angling it so that all his wet hair gets up in Jaskiers face and neck.

“Ah! Damnit! Fuck you, green boy, I will get my vengence! And my picture! Don’t you doubt it, Kermit!”

~

Later that night, Yen scrolls around instagram. Stops, and scrolls back up. And starts cackling.

**Author's Note:**

> Come laugh at my dumb sense of humor with me at my Tumblr!   
> Im Dapandapod


End file.
